Straight In At Number 1 : The Real Jim Shady by The Fat Controller‏

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Jim Shady please stand up?
 I repeat, will the real Jim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here........

You all act like you never seen a Delboy before
Jaws all on the floor, like Harry when he heard the whole furore
And started spanking his flacid dick, even worse than before
He hit the bottle bad and made his belly hit the floor

It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" “I didn’t steal nothing”
And Dr Skint said, he said nothing you idiots!
Dr. Skint's skint, he can’t afford the internet

"Jim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbing the dough from Oz,
Betting the you-know-who whats,", "Yeah, but he's so believable though"
So the drink means he’s got a couple of screws up in his head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in alco Harry’s bedroom
They wanna get on mortonunofficial and give out fuck,
But can't but it's cool cos Roobs is Harry's Orville Duck

"Ernie’s bum’s on Rhubarb’s lips, his bum’s on Rhubarb’s lips
And if he’s lucky, he’ll let him give it a little kiss
And that's the message that Roobs will deliver to the board
And expect them not to know how to spot a fucking fraud
Of course they’re gonnae know what dodgy books are
They got calculators, brains and most of them were there
"We ain't nothing but mammals?”, “Well, some sleekit friends are cannibals”
Who pocketed the dough and sit laughing at supposed pals

But if I can zero cash tills and lose the final tally take
That’s no reason to think that a man is on the make
So if you feel like I feel, I think I got the antidote
Hit The Willow, drink it off, sing my chorus and it goes

I'm Jim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Jim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Jim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

Ozzie Iain disnae swear in his mails to get attention
But Harry does, so fuck Iain, he’d bore the baws aff an elephant
You think I give a damn about thirteen grand me ?
You two fuckwits can't even stomach, let alone stand me

"But Jim, what if you win, beat Nick the lying toad
Why? So you two bumboys can go home and blow your load ?
Shit, I’d rather get pished and fall up the Willow stairs
I’m potless already, the Trust can’t get any mair

Yer a wanker anyway Harry, you put me in “The Tilly”
Then sat at home in Glasgow, spanked the heid right aff yer willie
I should have put the lot I made on Trap 5,
Then told you and Skippy to fuck off and get a life

I'm sick of you and that Aussie fuckwit, all you do is annoy me
I’ve spunked yer dough away, how much does that destroy ye,
At least there’s two others on the net us just like me
Who think like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
who hide like me; walk, stalk and lie like me,
and just might be the next low thing but not quite me!


Stuart’s like a head trip to listen to, cause he’s only giving clear
The truth about that night and the dough that disappeared
He couldn’t give a shit about the fake doc’s attacks  
Cos deep down he knows that you can’t deny the FACTS
He just gets on the boards and spits it
And whether you like to admit it, you pure shit it
Cos you know that the numbers that you gave can never tally
Sure how could they, when half of them went on the fucking swally
And when you get round to tearing up the last of your dockets  
You'll be the only person in the Willow dipping pockets
Pinching Rhubarbs arse there and getting off with David E
While Ernie pulls their strings like fucking Sooty and Sweep
And every dodgy pal could be a Jim Shady in the grass
He could be working at the fans match, cos he’d the brass neck to ask

Or in the Willow bar, steaming, greeting "I don't give a fuck!"
With his trooser pockets empty and his palms turned up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those hands on either arm up
And get your pride back for fuck sake before you grab your bunnet
And tell yer two pals what we all know “It was me, I dunnit”

 Ha ha
Guess there's a Jim Shady in all three of them, fuck it, let ‘em all stand up

Shameless scam?

In response to Harry's blog entry of 17th February 2012, we feel the need to respond.

We too are most dis-statisfied  at the sisting of the case and would very much like to see a more conclusive end to the entire affair. By that, we mean that we would expect to see a verdict one way or another regardless of whether or not any compensation would be available to the losing party. We feel that this is the only way that a line can be drawn under the whole sorry business. So, in that respect, we would agree with Harry's blog.

Notwithstanding the above, all the bluster about trust deeds should be dismissed. We firmly believe that this should have no bearing what so ever on any outcome. Whether it has been hidden from the membership or not also has no bearing on the matter at hand. We have no  interest in any other creditors. All we want is for the truth to emerge and the only way we can see this happening is for the Sheriff to be allowed to deliver a decision of guilty or not guilty.

We are also interested in the 2 court cases instigated by Harry and his cohorts against Danny Goodwin and Sean Donnelly. This has all gone remarkably quiet. Has Harry realised the error of his ways in either or both of these accusations, or are the cases still to be processed through the courts?

Over to you Harry.

Another letter to the editor.

Well, well, well - what have we here then ?
We know the last two mails posted on here were genuine. Then this third one seems to copper fasten the last one.
No doubt it's genuine either eh Doctor Moneygoney ?

So we have now have two mails saying only one person is responsible for all accounts and that comes from the same person.
What a dilemma.

Still to come on the next installments of Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction : the first set of accounts, to be followed by the second set and then maybe the third.

Still to come eftir that :the mysterious inconsistency of the "ah've not got any money to bank, what are the bank details so I can post the money I have, and all the way back to there's nae money left, but only after a further set of accounts showing an entry of an asset called 'jim physical money'."

Same time. Same bat channel.

From: Jim Gallacher [mailto:ADDRESS REMOVED]
Sent: 28 November 2009 09:27
To: ADDRESS REMOVED; Danny Goodwin ; chairman@gmst.org.uk
Subject: RE: GMST Board Meeting - Income/expenditure 'Stars' event

Hi Danny

You made a request that Sean be left out of this matter and I agreed and said I was responsible for all accounts for that evening and Sean was not to be questioned on them in anyway at all.
 
Jim

Boomtown Monkey's remux

THE SILICON CHIP IN ERNIES HEAD
GETS SWITCHED TO OVERLOAD
AND NOBODY'S GONNA GO TO CAPPIELOW TODAY
HE'S GONNA MAKE THEM STAY AT HOME
THE MONKEY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND IT
HE ALWAYS THOUGHT HE WAS AS GOOD AS GOLD
AND HE CAN SEE NO REASONS
'COS THERE AIN'T NO REASONS
WHAT REASON DO YOU NEED TO SHOW-OW-OW-OW-OW

TELL ME WHY I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS
TELL ME WHY I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS
TELL ME WHY I DON'T LIKE MONDAY'S
I WANNA SHOO-OOO-OOO-OOT THE WHOLE TRUST DOWN

THE LAPTOP MACHINE IS KEPT SO CLEAN
AND IT TYPES TO A WAITING WORLD
THE MONKEY'S SO SHOCKED
ERNIE'S WORLD IS ROCKED
AND THEIR THOUGHTS TURN TO HIS SAD WEE WORLD
BANKRUPT AND MEAN, AIN'T THAT PEACHY KEEN
ERNIE AIN'T SO KEEN TO ADMIT DEFEAT
AND HE CAN SO NO REASONS
'COS THERE AIN'T NO REASONS
WHAT REASONS DO YOU NEED
TO KNOW-O-O

TELL ME WHY I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS
TELL ME WHY I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS
TELL ME WHY I DON'T LIKE MONDAY'S
I WANNA SHOO-OOO-OOO-OOT THE WHOLE TRUST DOWN

AND ALL THE PLAYING'S STOPPED AT CAPPIELOW TODAY
ERNIE WANTS TO PLAY WITH HIS PET A WHILE
DUNCO'S A CLOWN, ERNIE THINKS WITH A FROWN,
AND NICK AND CHRIS ARE JUST A PAIR O' PRICKS
DANNY'S A FANNY, MCVICAR'S A TRANNIE,
FLY BOY DONNELY'S PULLED OFF ONE MEAN TRICK
AH HATE THEM ALL - WEE JIM HAD A BALL
BUT HE'LL NEVER LIE TO UNCLE ERNIE AGAIN
AND HE CAN SEE NO REASONS, 'COS THERE AIN'T NO REASONS
WHAT REASONS DO YOU NEED TO DIE, DIE ?
OH-OH-OH


TELL ME WHY I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS
TELL ME WHY I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS
TELL ME WHY I DON'T LIKE MONDAY'S
I WANNA SHOO-OOO-OOO-OOT THE WHOLE TRUST DOWN

This Week's Chart Topper - Straight In At Number One - This Bangles Cover Version

Six o’clock already,
Better rise and get on to ma blog
Nae time to pull ma pudding
Or curl off my morning log
Cos Newtons’ on the blower
And my inbox tells me Ernie’s got news
Aboot a night I didnae go to
And a court case Jim G cannae lose

It’s just another Manik Monday, oh-way- oh
Spanking my monkey, oh-way-oh
With my Aussie flunky, oh-oh
Cos I’ve naw any money
It’s just another Manik Monday

I changed my name from Harry,
Cos Ernie sounded fucking mint,
I thought I’d use ma middle name,
To hide the fact ah’m fucking skint
So I struck a pose upon ma couch
Side on with my belly oot,
And made up family millionaires
So rich they cannae count their loot 

It’s just another Manik Tuesday, oh-way- oh
On ma blog to abuse day, oh-way-oh
And ah’m full of the booze tae oh-oh
But that’s not news eh ?
It’s just another Manik Tuesday

I’m out of my skull - why did the wee man have to pick this time - to let me down

Doesn't it matter - that I talked shite for the both of us - now I look a clown

But he begs me in his bar room sound - Here Harry, just buy wan mair round

Time it goes so fast - when yir potless and talk out of yir arse

   

When You Go Will You Send Back, A Letter To The Editor

Dear Uncle Harry,

ah'm getting mair and mair confused. Naebody denied the last mail was a dodgy wan. But a few lads had a go at another guy.
Huv they aw seen this mail yet.Or did this wan get made up again.

I'm hoping the phoney physician can advise.

Yours Professionally and ficticiosly like yersel,

Dr Fu Manchu

From: Jim Gallacher [mailto:ADDRESS REMOVED]
Sent: 17 November 2009 23:22
To: xxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: MONIES FOR STARS OF 79 NIGHT 

To be honest I didn't realise I'd have to produce a receipt for things. 

I hold my hands up and say there is very few VAT receipts that I'm able to produce however the final Income & Expenditure sheet handed over will be as true and accurate an account that I can produce. Sean will not be responsible for any of it and I will take full responsibility for it.
 
Cheers

Jim

Another letter to the editor

Dear Uncle Harry,

Ah'm confused by a bit of correspondence and I'm wondering if this offer was made.
There's so much out there people huvnae seen so I wanted to get yir expert input.
Your reply post is free but if you cannae pay your broadband it looks like one of yir mates could bung you a few bob.

Yours professionnally

Nick Leeson
________________________________________________

From: Jim Gallacher [mailto:ADDRESS REMOVED]
Sent: 05 December 2009 14:12
To: chairman@gmst.org.uk
Cc:
Subject: RE:
Importance: High

Hi Stuart
 The manner in which I presented the figures at 1st was based on projected Income and not actual.Obviously this was a major error on my part.

The attached shows a deficit of approx £1500.
I'd like to know that if this money was re-paid would it stop police involvement and would the matter then be closed ??
 
Regards

Jim

____________________________________________ 

To the editor

The following was received today. Unlike Harry's blog, we dont edit things.

Had a quick look at this new site and fuck me.A guy who was giving it large on here about how many millions he had, or his brother had or his son had or some such pish - was or is a bankrupt - and it would appear so is his wife, or ex-wife,according to the details posted on this site.

Don't see too many denials on the famous blog but if it's wrong it'll be interesting to read the denial.

So to recap, we have an alleged bankrupt beating the drum for a current bankrupt using australian money to support and defend the two alleged bankrupts.

Said it before and I'll say it again - you couldn't make it fucking up. I thought Ian was brighter than that.

Meanwhile the Trust seem keen to play for a draw despite the mails that have been openly available due to the two very indiscrete Antipodean and Hypocritical "Doctor",sorry I meant Hippocratic,detailing admissions of errors in compiling the accounts,at the third attempt of making them up and the fourth time of asking, and open offers to make recompense to the Trust by a certain other party.

Sometimes these three parties forget what they shared by email early on in all of this.Ernie, if you need a few bob for hosting rights for that blog of yours this year,we'll sponsor you. What an absolute dick. Loving it No amount of daft photos you doctored,or emails you doctored or threats you made make up for that. If you want to give us a shout anytime, we'll let you reverse the charges.

Stick another daft wee article on your blog after your read this,we're looking forward to it.But beware,this initial revelation about you is just the tip of the iceberg. Not just about you "doctor" but also about others close to you as well,so your move. Be careful what you wish for though. Anything we have will be made available to the blog. We got a great wee mail earlier on tonight which really interested us. Its amazing what people can find out when they stoop to levels similar to the "doctor" so your move "doctor".

Also got yet another fascinating phone call from Greenock in the last few days and what a revelation that was.Someone's been telling lies "doctor" and now they're realising they've fucked things up and for their own reasons can't be seen to get involved in a court case.

Strange how when you remind people of their past they realise they might have been more than just a wee bit dumb.

The Trust will shit themselves and settle for a draw on this, to their shame. The "doctor" will get a free draw cos the Trust has nae baws but it will end up in the spunking away of Ian's thirteen grand.He can hardly get it back from two bankruptees.Well.their previous creditors couldn't.

Is wicked uncle Ernie really wicked uncle Harry?

Coming soon

The stars of 1995.

Disgraceful practices from a trust director

 From: Jim Gallacher [mailto:ADDRESS REMOVED]
Sent: 17 November 2009 01:22
To: Danny Goodwin ; ADDRESS REMOVED; ADDRESS REMOVED; ADDRESS REMOVED ; Cha; ADDRESS REMOVED
Subject: RE: Meeting - Monies - MEETING DATE THIS WEEK ?

Hi Danny

Just for the record if we had gone down the invoice route it'd have cost the Trust hundreds of pounds more, EG: The meal would have cost us an extra £475.

Chick & Jimmy only did it so cheaply due to cash in hand, we could have been talking an additional £300 or more had we gone down the invoice road.

So that's a saving of £775 straight away.

If you dispute what we paid the caterer and the speakers, please feel free to contact them and verify the figures of £3170 & £1150 respectively.

After that come back and thank me for saving the Trust £775.00

Cheers
Jim

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Why it is pointless for the trust to go any further.

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